My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize