sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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