he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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