There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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