I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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