you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
