He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
