You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
