God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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