DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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