Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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