i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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