I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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