So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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