His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Randomize
