It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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