Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
