ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
