I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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