idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
