I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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