I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
