I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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