Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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