I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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