is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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