I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
