I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
please don't ironically join a cult
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