just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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