nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize