Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
