At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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