sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize