As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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