he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
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I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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