I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
