i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
