After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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