hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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