So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
