i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
