It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
