It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
