So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
