I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
