yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
