U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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