No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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