she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
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