In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
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Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
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I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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