i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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