I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
