this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
