According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
