Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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