just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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