Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
