I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
